IC Inbox for Empatheias

[nofarplaneyet]

Messenger Bird/Voice/Image/Action

*If you want to harass an old man, feel free. Expect dry humor in return if you're trying to be smart.*

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[regisrex]

Thank you. I will be waiting.

[ Quietly, but brimming with feeling. ]

I pose less danger than Ignis and Gladiolus. Currently.

[ That might change. Plus, Crowe is always a strong contestant. ]

[nofarplaneyet]

[That actually has him running. In the dark. With shades on, look he's very partial to them and he's not making the best choices right now.

It doesn't take him long to get to the house. And to Regis who might be waiting for him. There is nothing that needs to be said. Only that Auron runs the distance between them so he can squeeze Regis in a tight hug.]

[regisrex]

[ Regis was slowly pacing up and down the living room when Auron arrives. The light is a little bit dimmed in the house, mostly because of Ignis's reaction when they returned. He considers the options for a moment, once Auron arrives--

-- and then Auron's arms are about him, and he allows himself a moment to not think, but just feel. He can decide whether they should stay here or retire to Regis's room... later. For now, he can just be, his arms just as tight back around the younger man. ]

Thank you. [ His voice is rough, but tone steady. Habits die hard. ] Thank you so much, Auron. I...

[ Example on what Regis's mind does when unchecked at times of trouble. ]

I wished I could give you this, when you told me Shinjiro had returned to his own world.

[ But they had not been close like this yet, then. And, no, he is not quite ready to bring up his own thoughts about now, not quite yet. He thinks that Auron will understand - he doesn't have to keep to that topic, just not wonder too hard at Regis's seeming non sequitur. ]

[nofarplaneyet]

[It is a bit of a random thought...but then again, it isn't. Auron had lost someone that he had parented and would not see again. Regis knew his son was going back to his destiny in Eos and might not be seen again.]

It's okay. [His voice is quiet and soft, even the natural rasp in his voice losing some of its bite.]

You helped me and that was enough. [Given the way Regis is clinging to him, the help Auron can give feels very much needed.]

[regisrex]

[ He won't even cling much longer, not really. But here, safe in Auron's arms, he can permit himself to think back of Noctis as he found him in the clinic, barely conscious and flinching at the sight of him. The sword leaning in the corner, his sword, not put away in the armiger.

To know.

For there is nothing he can do about it. Nothing at all.

Eos will be saved. At the cost of his most precious heart. Likely pierced by Regis himself.

Then he pulls himself together, straightens up a little though he doesn't step away. ]

I thought I had come to terms with knowing that there is nothing I can do a long time ago. But it does not make it easier.

[ And that part goes about Shinjiro as well. ]

There is only hoping that enough was done while it was possible.

[ It's a little better here, for Regis, than the farewell in Insomnia went. He's been better, closer to Noctis, in this strange world. But it never feels enough. Never. ]

And... [ Here is the part that Auron might have guessed, but Regis has barely ever voiced. ] Hope is so difficult to hold on to.

[nofarplaneyet]

[Auron leans back a little to look Regis in the eyes.]

You're right. It's like holding onto water sometimes. When I got here, I was supposed to join the brothers I'd lost. After doing everything I could to make things right.

I didn't want to be here. Because I thought that only a small handful of people could give me happiness. I didn't have any expectation or hope of anything else.

But I learned. I was wrong. Now...I think they'll understand. I have a lot to do here. I have to make sure other people don't lose that hope.

[Their relationship beyond just being friends is only days old. Still newborn and trying to figure everything out. But Auron knows this much. He will do whatever is necessary to give aid and help to Regis.]

[regisrex]

[ And, looking at him, Auron can see how his words drain the worst of the pain from Regis's face, from his eyes. The sadness is still there, the grief, the missing, the longing. But the pit of despair beneath them has slowly dissolved.

It's ... easy, really. One thought. You deserve happiness. Meant completely, with little flashes spreading out from there - that perhaps that handful of people will be in Verens, too; that he will do his best; that Noctis deserves to be happy, too - and he was.

Regis hums, softly, honestly, and nods, slowly. ]

Our happiness does not subtract from the happiness of those who care for us. It add to that, instead. [ Small swallow. ] I have been trying to remind others who are grieving that people leaving this place is not that different from how life usually is. In the good, that we may meet friends and form bonds, and the sad, that we may lose people without warning, to fear and grief.

But hope... I suppose I still need the reminders for it.

[ It is strange. Auron has had no fewer reasons to abandon hope than Regis himself. To keep going on willpower and determination.

And here he is, with this precious gift. Over and over again. ]

[nofarplaneyet]

[They are both stubborn men. Especially in Auron's case, he never knew when to quit. But that sheer drive of determination for self and for a promise has changed over time. Transformed in this place to wanting to help others because he wishes to and not because he's promised to do so.

There is a difference there, although Auron's still slowly absorbing that meaning. There is also a greater need to find humor when things are very dark.]

Yeah, well. Suppose even royalty needs a good kick in the ass to not fall prey to things that want to crush us. Fayth knows I've had people do that to me. So I'm just passing the favor along.

[He lets Regis go then, and taps the pocket of his coat. There's an audible clink of glass.]

And sometimes you really just need a drink.

[regisrex]

[ It is a small, small smile, but it does curl up the corners of Regis's mouth, disturbing his beard just so. ]

You are very good at choosing when to pass the favor. Of kicking asses.

[ Just because he strongly suspects that Auron will get a kick out of Regis saying the words, as some of them are rather rare, coming from Regis.

All the same, his amusement fades soon enough, giving way to consideration.

Then he nods. ]

I think... I would very much like that. [ He frowns slightly, straightening up enough to look around. ] Would my room suit?

[ There are things he wants to spare the residents of the house, already raw with the loss. Seeing their king drunk up to the gills is very much among them. ]

[nofarplaneyet]

[Regis is right. He does enjoy listening to Regis say "ass" for his own personal amusement.]

Sure. Probably don't want to be drinking openly in front of the kid anyway. [He hadn't caught the name of the young child being watched over by the house. Not to mention he'd never seen Regis' room before. He follows his friend.]

[regisrex]

Porom. [ Quietly, and fondly, as he leads their way up. ] She might be able to sober you up with a spell. Or, worse, disapprove.

[ Do you know how hard it is to be disapproved of by a six-year-old, Auron? It's devastating.

Regis's room is relatively neat kind of ... masculine. He's used to dedicating a lot of his time to work, and the reading-writing desk is piled up with research books and notes. It gets a quick look before Regis turns away. Too little, too late. Not good enough... Never enough.

Instead, he leads them to the two comfortable armchairs that he'd asked Gladio - before he'd disappeared - to bring in for him. They are currently facing the window, and Regis hesitates a moment, but it is fair enough view even at night, and motions to Auron to settle as he clears the small round table from the books piled on it and rolls it over. Good enough to settle the drink on. And he still has most of Auron's New Year's gift, too. They only had a little of it that night.

One cup, the flask, the bottle. ]

I can go get us another cup. And water. If you would wait a moment.

[nofarplaneyet]

Sure.

[He doesn't exactly snoop around Regis' room while he's gone, but Auron does cast an eye over the books. He's not even sure what some of these subjects are.

It makes him think that maybe this is what Regis' life was like back in his world. Full of plans and meetings and books and fighting the Empire. Very important things, but not a lot of personal happiness there.

They had shared a lot of what had made them both sad, but they haven't shared nearly enough of what makes them happy. It's a sobering thought as he stares out the window into the night.]

[regisrex]

Here we are.

[ Cane notwithstanding, Regis doesn't take very long, returning with a small tray with water and glasses for all. (And, yes, that was a lot of what his life had been, until a year or so ago. Meeting, plans, reports, and looming doom.

He hadn't been meant to be there after the doom. Yet, here he is.)

At least the time of being held, the words, and just time has made Regis act much calmer. The chill is still there, so he turns up the heat to combat at least some of it, but he no longer seems as though he might shatter if pushed a little bit. ]

I apologize. I did not mean my mood to be catching. [ Yes, he can read that stare out into the night all right. And this is as light as he can manage - not remorse but close to a tease. ]

[nofarplaneyet]

It's all right.

[He waits for Regis to sit down before pouring him a glass first.]

I was just thinking that you probably had to do a lot of research and work as the king. Along with keeping up the Wall.

Relaxing was probably something you didn't get a lot of.

[regisrex]

Mm.

[ Regis settles in his own chair, wishing that he could draw his knees in as he used to when he was much younger. But his body is not overly fond of being contorted without good reason, these days, and physical comfort often wins over emotional comfort, when it comes to resting positions. ]

I used to do a lot of research when I was younger. A king needs to be aware of a lot of subjects, so that he may make good decisions, both in factuality and in choosing to whom to delegate.

More recently, I read a lot of reports, on various aspects of how the kingdom was running. And on battles.

[ Casualties. Refugees. Shortages. Attempts to make things better.

Regis rubs a hand over his face, before reaching for his own drink. ]

You are not wrong. Relaxing was rare. But so many people were giving their lives and their work to make things hold on just a little longer. I owed them no less.

It took... a while, here, before I accepted that relaxing would not be at the expense of someone else.

[nofarplaneyet]

Yeah. I can understand that. Being idle with your time was a bit of a foreign concept for me. I think that's what took me the longest to adjust to when I got here.

[Not to mention all the time he had to think. All the endless hours of time and no more promises to fulfill for his brothers. He drinks a little in memory of that biting loneliness, before he sought friends.]

But I've changed a lot. I bet if someone else were to ever come from Spira, they wouldn't even know me.

[regisrex]

Mm.

[ Regis tilts his head, considering. Thinking of Auron when they first met. ]

I believe you can change plenty while still remaining yourself at the core. But change is... inevitable, when circumstances are different. When your life is different.

[ Sideways glance. ]

Unless you feel like you have lost yourself?

[nofarplaneyet]

I don't think I've lost myself. More like I'm regaining pieces that I had to shed along the way, now that my total concentration isn't needed on promises I've already fulfilled.

[He takes a sip of his drink and sets down the glass.]

And figuring out things that I never thought would ever be available to me. [He briefly touches the back of Regis' hand before withdrawing.]

[regisrex]

Then those who know you, [ softly, and he turns his hand and catches Auron's in his, holding loosely, but with much palm-to-palm contact, ] will know you more easily, and will be glad to see you so.

And if it is easier... even with rougher patches, I know I am glad.

[ There is still chill in the room. Regis has not forgotten the loss that he called Auron about in the first place. But the warmth in his voice and touch is not fake, either. ]